


Alastor and Rosie's Cannibal Song

by KathyPrior42



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26635375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyPrior42/pseuds/KathyPrior42
Summary: Alastor and Rosie sing a duet!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Alastor and Rosie's Cannibal Song

Alastor and Rosie strolled arm in arm after Rosie finished going to an Overlord meeting. 

“Hey Alastor,” said Rosie turning to him. “Have you ever considered joining my exclusive club of socialites?”

“No, I haven’t…but do entertain me.”

“It’s mainly me and my group of ladies. We meet up for tea and coffee at this nice café not too far from here. We discuss the latest news, perhaps exchange jewelry or deserts.”

“Sounds lovely, my dear.”

“Oh and here’s the best part. My group and I have…exquisite tastes when it comes to meals. And I’ve heard about you and your slaughters.”

Alastor couldn’t help but puff up his chest in pride. “I was also a very skilled hunter in my other life. I’ve made many meals including jambalaya with venison in it. It is my favorite.”

A grin of sharp teeth stretched across Rosie’s pale face, her black eyes shining. “Have you ever considered eating the flesh of your victims?”

Alastor’s stomach growled at the thought. “I had a feeling that something was missing after I killed all those men as a human. I’ve hunted and ate deer and game many times. Perhaps I was too unsure about doing the same to other humans.”

Rosie laughed. “No restrictions now, though. This is Hell. Feel free to eat whatever…and whomever you’d like.”

Rosie handed him a blue arm of a nearby dead demon. Alastor maneuvered it into his mouth and sliced it to bits with several noisy bites. The sharp fangs effortlessly tore through the muscle and bone. The tangy taste of blood and juicy meat filled his mouth before he swallowed.

“That was quite tasty,” he remarked, licking his lips. Alastor then realized something extraordinary: there were countless demons roaming around in Hell. It was as if Hell had decided to provide him with an all-you-can-eat buffet. Not only would he have more meat to eat, but being a cannibal would also help with his fearsome reputation. Cannibalism was considered one of the worst taboos to do on Earth. 

Why not add another sin to his list? 

Alastor bowed and kissed Rosie on her hand in thanks. “Even in death, I learn something new every day. I’d be honored to join you.”

Rosie introduced Alastor to her group of friends: a bunch of demon women dressed in fancy Victorian dresses of many colors and round ladies’ hats on their heads. Violet, Lavender, and Poppy were some of their names. For a brief moment, Alastor felt like he was back in his time period on Earth. He ate demon meat to his heart’s content. Hell-Born or sinner, raw or cooked, it didn’t matter. He used the flesh and the sinner’s hearts in his jambalaya recipes. As the sinners had previously been human like Alastor used to be, he was now a cannibal. 

The thought of someday tasting actual humans in the living world made his mouth water more. 

On Sunday mornings after Alastor had coffee, he would be greeted by his new admirers while he walked outside, humming a cheery tune.

“Hello ladies,” Alastor said with a tip of his red top hat.

“Hello Alastor!” they chimed, as they sat on the ground in front of a mutilated body of a demon. One woman picked up the demon’s separated arm and used it to wave at him. Alastor chuckled and strolled on. 

During one moonlit night, Alastor and Rosie decided to sing a song to strengthen their bond. They were already good friends, if not that then at least compatible associates with similar tastes. 

“Let’s say you’re bored and want to be full,” Rosie began as she walked next to him, umbrella in her hands and little skulls on her hat. She looked like a gaunt Mary Poppins entering a Day of the Dead musical. 

“Sure, you can go about your day, dull. Or…”

She turned around, her lavender dress spinning slightly. “You can eat a little flesh fantastic with me.”

Alastor’s red eyes lit up, his hidden deer tail wagging underneath his crimson dress coat. He already loved her singing voice and graceful form. She reminded him of Mimzy, though she was less about the spotlight and more about elegance.

And speaking of which…

“Alastor!” Mimzy beamed as she walked over to him. The chubby blonde woman was wearing a magenta flapper dress with sparkles on it. Her headband had a pink feather attached to it and her necklace of black pearls was visible above her round breasts. 

“Good evening, Mimzy!” Alastor smiled. “What are you doing out here, dear?”

“My shift at the jazz club just ended, so I decided to join you guys.” A pink neon sign down the street read “Mimzy’s Place.”

“Please do, Miss Hannigan,” Rosie said to her fellow friend. Alastor had introduced Mimzy to Rosie after the two sinners had reunited. “Be sure not to walk home by yourself, Mimzy. You might be dead, but there’s no need to die a second time.”

“Isn’t that right!” Alastor added with a chuckle. 

“Now where was I…” Rosie pondered. “Oh right!” 

She began to sing again.

“You can eat a little flesh fantastic with me.”

“Wait, flesh?” Mimzy asked, curious. “As in human flesh?”

“Why yes! I just tasted it for the first time,” Alastor said. “Apparently, it’s a delicacy down in Hell for obvious reasons. “I mean…”

He began to sing, “If you live your days in wonder, but can’t focus due to hunger…”

He leaned his face in close to hers; Mimzy blushed and didn’t even flinch. 

“Just eat a little flesh fantastic with me.”

Alastor straightened back up as Rosie joined in. “For if you decide to kill a person, their body will someday rot away. But if you make haste and not let it go to waste…”

Rosie spun around a black nearby pole before lightly landing on the sidewalk. 

“Then you’ll be satiated for the day!”

Alastor climbed up and leaned against the pole. “You don’t need to be Lector Hannibal, to consider the life of a cannibal.”

“Want to be robust?” Rosie asked.

“You know I must,” Alastor added.

Then they both sang to Mimzy, “Come eat a little flesh fantastic with us!”

The two tall demons strolled along as Alastor snapped his fingers. His shadowy demon imps rose from the ground, playing trumpets, drums and saxophones. Nearby demons where either swaying to the jazz beat or darting away in fear. Mimzy ran on her short stubby legs to catch up.

“Hey, wait up! Can I sing, too?”

Rosie led out a shrill bird-like call from her mouth as her eyes briefly glowed silvery white.

“My fellow epicureans, answer my call. May your gluttonous desires led the way!”

At once, several ladies dresses came out of the alleyways to join her. There were also a few male demons in elegant suits who followed them.

“Welcome to the club, Radio Demon,” Rosie grinned. 

Rosie and Alastor then sang the duet at the same time:

“The life of a cannibal  
The feeling is so wonderful  
Hunt and kill, munch, munch, munch,  
A few screams later, you’ve got your lunch!”

Behind them, the women danced in a line, their dresses spinning as they moved. The men in suits and top hats spun, flipped and did tricks from the poles of nearby street lamps. The red flames in the glass on top of the lamps flickered to the outside music. 

“Have some style and show some class  
It is us among the mass  
When you’re feeling beat and want to eat  
A demon can never have too much meat!”

“Eat a little flesh fantastic with us  
Give in to another kind of lust  
A sweet treat you are, come near or far  
Our food as you bite the dust!”

Rosie smiled as she and Alastor did a Charleston dance in the front. Rosie winked at Mimzy who stood in awe of their dancing. She tried to hide her jealousy. Every time Alastor danced with someone else, the sin of envy took hold of her in a tight grip. Rosie continued:

“You can refrain and boldly exclaim  
‘Eating your brethren’s not right!’”

Alastor added:  
“But we know well, to maim in Hell  
The blood will be shed tonight!”

Rosie blew into a bloodstained shell trumpet. The men and women dancers surrounded the trio in a moving circle, chanting “Eat! Eat! Eat!” as the jazz music sped up. Their dancing shoes tapped against the asphalt, adding to the instrumental sounds. The women took off their hats and waved them several times in the air before putting them back on their heads. The men repeated their actions shortly after. 

Alastor held out his hand for Mimzy to take, which she eagerly did with a smile. The three of them danced around in a circle, laughing as Alastor’s glowing red spirits swirled around above them. 

“The life of a cannibal,” Mimzy began…  
“The feeling is so wonderful,” Rosie added…  
“Hunt and kill, munch, munch, munch…” Alastor sang.

Then all three of them called out, “A few screams later, you’ve got your lunch!”  
“Eat a little flesh fantastic with us!”  
(oh- oh- oh- oh- oh)  
“Eat a little flesh fantastic with us!”  
(oh- oh- oh- oh- oh)

The men did more rolls on the floor and posed on the lamppost poles. Nearby, an elaborate black fountain was spraying blood into the larger basin. A lone demon kid tossed a soul coin into it. 

After the men spun around on the poles, they hopped back down to dance with the ladies in the background. 

The song soon ended with Rosie, Alastor and Mimzy doing happy poses on the street, Alastor in the middle between his best lady friends. As the trio bowed, audience clapping emitted from his microphone staff. Everyone cheered as they summoned long flaming spears into their hands. They twirled them around in their hands and tossed them into the air before catching them. Soon, all of them were surrounding Rosie, who posed on a pole with her closed umbrella pointing outward in her hand. 

“Go forth and feast!” Rosie called.

The eyes of the men and women glowed red in hunger. Like a pack of wolves, the other demons scurried in every direction, prancing on other demons. Several of the men threw their spears at nearby demons, setting them on fire as they screeched. Nearby denizens screamed as the fancy ladies jumped onto them and sank their sharp teeth into their necks and shoulders. Blood and organic fluid soon littered the street and sidewalks. Mimzy giggled and wrote on a nearby brick wall in fresh blood. She drew a red heart with “A + M” inside it. She even added an arrow through the heart. 

“Very nice,” Alastor mentioned. “A and M. That reminds me, I gotta get ready for my 6 AM announcement tomorrow. I’ll be broadcasting how to make spicy jambalaya. All natural ingredients, of course.”

Mimzy picked up a pulsing heart from inside the gaping chest of a fallen demon. 

”You might need this for an ingredient.”

She gave it to Alastor, who took it in both hands.

“You’re giving me your heart, what a thoughtful gift!”

Alastor and Rosie chuckled and Mimzy smiled, too. Though deep down, she hoped he was only kidding about actually eating her heart.

Alastor took several bites of the muscle, red thick liquid coating his face. The flavor was divine. 

Mimzy tried a bite out of chunk of flesh from another demon. It tasted like older pork, human flesh that had gotten a bit dry and flavorless. Alastor soon recognized the taste of demon flesh as well after eating some more. 

“I’m just gonna pretend it was pork,” Mimzy said, uncertainty in her face.

“Come on, we all know you enjoyed it,” Alastor teased, playfully pinching her cheeks. 

“There is one thing that is better than flesh,” Mimzy declared.

“And what’s that, dear?” Rosie asked, wiping her bloody mouth with a lacy handkerchief. 

“Spending time with my lovely friends!”

Mimzy gave Alastor a hug and Alastor flinched a bit. He took a deep breath and briefly hugged her as well. Rosie knew not to touch Alastor, so she opted to stand supportively by his side. 

Alastor then pulled the two smiling women close to him, happy and in his element. It was something that he agreed with as well, somewhere within his blackened heart. Despite doing things for himself and manipulating people for his amusement, there was something…freeing about being with fun-loving friends he could put some degree of trust in. The sounds of music pulsed like vibrant lights in a sea of darkness. Music had been his oasis, his escape on Earth. Even in Hell, it still tugged at his heartstrings and reminded him of innocent times long ago. It was almost like a beacon of hope…hope of even greater things ahead.

For the first time in a while, Alastor’s smile was genuine and relaxed. 

“Now that’s what I call entertainment!”


End file.
